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Sobs came from within me. It was real. Then the big drops of tears fell.
It seems like something that i tried to hold on for very long abruptly broke again.
I didnt superglue the bits and pieces of a clay work. I think i glue the corners and the edges of my heart repeatedly.
Knowing it was fixed up with some denial and attittude of arrogance. When the denial wears off, and arrogance which didnt last, the next break will be terrible.
In fact, the attitude of arrogance was merely a smear. It was not adequate to potentiate the characteristics.
I didnt have much of those.

I was dreaming about fighting with Pauline that I never will ever want in my whole life till eternal.
I know it so clearly what is the real issue of my dreamly sobs.
This issue is so close to my heart, I can afford to slash myself at the wrist.

God's words reminded me at Matt 5:23,24.
Lord, this is a trial since 26 feb. But I have not done anything to resolve. Lord, I lend on you for strength, I am going to resolve it.