![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dug, stacked, categorised, rearranged, kept, cleaned my barang barangs.
unwanted, redundant, unnecessary went down the bin.
early spring cleaning my dad said.
mood spring cleaning i call it.
a mood led me to start sorting.
and in turn brought up memorises.
i thought of you,
you, you and you.
preparation, i am preparing for what's coming ahead after VEconcert 2009.
my forth choir concert in VE.
singing and VE, a part of me for 4 years.
now it has to come to an end after this event.
a need to leave, but not a want.
LOVE!
jia you everyone!
full of misses.
FIGHT is the word.
loud and clear
i started a self exercise in my organiser yesterday.
it's to record the number of happy and sad and tired and lovely faces that describe myself for the day.
and it started with a sad one for today.
the rest of the circles await to be filled with smiles.
which is more important?
you've tried your best OR you did the best.
it's whatever you define it as.
my tear threshold couldnt hold it any longer.
they are all flowing freely.
the angel in my mind lost control of the situation.
devil won.
yes i cant apply my theory in my practice. but i am trying very hard.
if TRYING cant be helped, then be it.
yes i cant beFRIEND most of the people whom i call collegues.
i cant continue to smile to those who didnt give me a pleasant getaway.
i cant BE like others who still have the ability to joke around with people who didnt give them a good time.
yes i try to say thank you to those who corrected me, now i could even take it harsh.
am i better?
but at times, i still cant hide whatever i feel.
yes i tried to cheer myself up. repeatedly telling myself, at least a bad experience makes me learn and be aware of something.
and i agree that plays a part to bring you far out in the outside world.
to change to adapt makes me fake.
i am seeing myself as a liar cause high prob people perceived me as.
a lack of naturality.
yes 6 months, it's the numbers of days that really count.
did i improve? i want the truth cause i really mind that.
yes i am one, that's me.
the no confidence, low self esteem, drawn back, hideous one. a verbal weako.
and i am utterly disappointed with that.
whatever you say, i will just say yes.
i am so crushed.
i am crying non stop.
i am so affected.
cause being unable to apply learning into practice is sth i mind so much.
and i just cant act.
it's nagging in my mind for so long.
- Mood:
crushed
3 MRT trips,
5 bus trips.
6 people,
paul the planner,
nic ding pauline me and my mum.
5 places,
tiong bahru the meeting place,
henderson wave,
leading to alexandra arch and hort park.
to kent ridge park.
last ecp.
another day of eat drink play talk.
with fun, without hunger.
looking at the expected busy-ness each of us will have,
more gatherings will still come,
aint it?
play hard work hard.
GO GO GO alum9!
- Mood:
content
being people orientated was initially the challenge i planned to face in nursing.
however, the cruel society is forcing everyone to a corner, limited time.
it's providing too much of redundant 'challenges'.
i need to be equiped with a pair of high tolerance ears,
a dictionary of words to console others
an encyclopedia of knowledge.
jia you.
true enough being a small thing.
it's still my negligence.
i am utterly disappointed with that.
where have all the effort been.
today marks the day.
yun take care of yourself, i always say.
- Mood: disappointed
is it attitude or not? you say it, i take it.
filter filter filter....
filter the unnecessary and take the needed.
needs for learning.
out of breathe to tell anyone about how i feel and what happened,
cause there's two ways of thinking.
1. it happened, so what's the point of telling.
2. ok, it's your wrong, am i supposed to do anything for you?
whatever.
thanks for telling me.
i appreciate that.
thanks.
keep that in mind yun.
that's how you should respond.
f
- Mood:
cranky
a sorry will not help if something precious is put at risk.
so what's the most precious thing right here on the earth you are having?
live.
- Mood: crushed
looking forward to oct, my upcoming bkk trip.
at the same time, worried about what will happen after oct at work.
some words from loves:
dont take others' comment to heart.
ignore if it's not important to even reflect through.
prove it instead.
we have all grown. VE alum9.
- Mood: worried
what's worst than without a family..
we met him along the road side at 2330H. 2 SNs.
no family.
renting a room as a roof.
an unstable job of dish collecting.
70 plus years old.
full of chronic illnesses.
toothless.
despite adequate and suggestions given to him,
he didnt want to be hospitalised.
we could see how he was considering in his head,
at the same time weighing what he needs to 'pay' in return.
his absence at job, his finance and all.
he was more concerned with these than his probing chest pain radiating to back and arm.
even more important than his spinning head.
he showed us tablets wrapped in papers.
he owns a bulky and heavy black bag.
refused to allow us to send me further than that spot.
pointing at his watch, rushing us home, saying its late.
we did what we could,
and left as told.
didnt feel good.
what's worst than being alone, and no family?
take care uncle.
I believe every single note and word in each song The Singers sang, led us to something close in our heart.
our childhood, toys and fun.
The concert commenced with a warm and cosy statement the MC said.
what i can briefly remember...the key words.
When young, love used to be simple.
a red fire engine,
a ba zhang.
true. i listened on.
i agree. on the other hand, love seems to have lost its simplicity as we grow up,
and its meaning turns vague.
some says love cant be defined, others say it has no boundery.
i need to see it. the meaning of love.
to share a phrase from the programme booklet,
Even a adults, we need and enjoy the playfulness, the nonsensical,
the make-believe, and most importantly, the wholeheartedness a child approaches the concept of love.
- Wilson Goh
thanks The Singers.
- Mood: thankful
i tried my best.
to do or not to do, i have weighed the importance.
i understand the whole condition of patient and their finance.
daughters protective of him. cant bear to let him know how tough they are going through.
having imposed the role of a "loanshark" from a money minded dept,
for the patient's good, this is STILL my aim.
a nurse, patient's educator.
tried to answer all doubts no matter how many time explanation is needed.
it's for your own good, patient.
but i got shooed off.
"I dont want to see you ever!" that's what he said harshly.
that's what i have get from him.
it hit me hard.
he has got my full name clearly. but he linked it with something negative.
something i didnt mean it. out of his perception.
the first sight i saw and talked to him,
he wasnt willing to talk at all.
i realised this man needs lots of support.
but uncle has to accept the GIVING we are providing.
i am helping him, with him knowing,
and helping him in silence, in cooperation with his love ones.
sensitive yun cried. due to the dilemma i was facing.
i need to say,
he's a noble dad.
from how his children love him.
hope uncle goes home tomorrow with a better condition.
at least i did my best, i did what i can.
console self.
yun, thank you.
thank you.
- Mood: disappointed
get indulged in all toys available.
dolls and doll houses to electronic games.
gonna get a tamagotchi tomorrow.
recalled my patient having one from her grandchild.
grandchild told her, it's to accompany her in the hosp.
how sweet and innocent thinking.
getting a toy tomorrow.
though it sounds useless and a waste of time
to the realistic ME.
play hard,
work hard.
exhale~!
great day with a whole group of family out for outing.
- Mood: content
make it a point to do things that will change something at the end of the day
how easy or tough, it depends on how you see it again.
the accumulation made my tears erupt and flow.
couldnt stand being so small and wrong.
perhaps it didnt fault at the way how she puts it across
but the perception i gave it.
i cried today in my scrub suit.
hope it will be first and the last.
yun jia you!
breathe deep x 3, and START WORK!
jia you
- Mood: cranky
light blue background
gently smeared with sparse soft white clouds
couldnt stop looking up at them
it was a great day
you lead a life or
let your life lead you.
love sx words
- Mood: calm
- Mood: calm
又來到這個港口
沒有原因的拘留
我的心乘著斑剝的輕舟
尋找失落的沙洲
隨時間的海浪漂流
我用力張開雙手
擁抱那麼多起起落落
想念的還是你望著我的眼波
＊我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
回頭才發現你不在留下我迂回的徘徊
我不是一定要你回來
只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛
又回到這個盡頭
我也想再往前走
只是越看見海闊天空
越遺憾沒有你分享我的感動
Repeat ＊ 我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我不是你想看見的我
我不是一定要你回來
只是當獨自走入人海
除了你之外的依賴
a song of loss and reliance in LOVE when one is gone.
16/7/09
0034H
continue smiling--------------noted
trace simple happiness-----------traced
discontinue worrying-----------noted
refer to laughing therapist---------informed. a/w
a/w leisure team to r/v-------------noted
take happiness, sadness, depress level-----------desp
add test sleep, rest, enjoyment, friends, love, family level-------add test form desp
take hourly deep breaths, 5 minute each------------noted
intake and output chart----------chart up
apply moisturiser to affected areas----------ordered. applied.
encouraged oral fluid intake---------noted
increase time for self---------noted
advise frequent exercise with care---------noted
maintain good health------instructed pt
0040H
in charge
khye
mad about work. need to take care of self too.
to arrange self care and maintainence
- Mood: moody
