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i do feel real good now.
the decision to let her know is carried out!
thanks nie!
for accepting how sensitive yun is.
love you
<3
- Mood:accomplished
a set of pearly white teeth. whitening!
a skill of driving.
motivated to run.
get fit and nice body.
to sing and to play.
play a key board.
read loads.
learn heaps from UOS.
melayu.
dentistry.
flawless skin.
longer and better hair.
with lots of smiles.
misses
- Mood:
energetic
but yh comforted me well,
like how i tried to console myself with the same idea.
maybe i am expected to blend in. but i still need to be seen.
i was thinking of insufficient sincerity.
but i do need to consider the lifestyle and way of doing things.
i do know her better than those who dont know her.
yun, who are you going to trust?
yun, you are still loved!
no worries
thanks yh
- Mood:
disappointed
I can fill the darkness with just one flash of light
Break the the silence with just one word
Warm the fire-started revolution
One that can save the world
On the steps of Washington sprinkled like confetti
Thousands of people sing "We shall overcome"
The preacher shouts: "Let freedom ring"
He gave his life for what he believed
Chorus
You can be a witness You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress
Change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper dreams are what make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed
She's a pastor's daughter
She's only 16
But her heart and her belly are breaking at the seams
Her boyfriend blames her
He want to pay for the doctor to wash it away
As she lays in the hospital
A Christmas choir is singing
About a child in a manger fragile and small "Unto us is born a Savior"
She looks at her baby and cries as she sings him a lullaby
(Chorus)
Every hope, every power lies in the heart of a seed that flowers
Intertwined all across the land
We're all seeds in the maker's hand
- Mood:
grateful
- braces to be out
- pass driving
- read more
- run more to clear mind
- smiley days
- lighter thoughts
- sunny days
- well organised days
- see more happy people
- smooth sailing at work
so i wonder is this a 'trend' or supposed to serve as a threat.
raising your voice at others to get what you want.
using sarcasm to declare what people should do for you.
a need to 'fierce' people to show you demand.
there needs to be understanding between two parties.
and of course there is a source of problem.
such disappointment that i realised.
the modern city human
- Mood: depressed
thinking is just merely thinking.
didnt get to word it out.
haven been blogging.
4 weeks.
learning to let go of things easily.
nil need to ponder over things too much.
simplicity or loose thoughts? i am not clear.
taking anything that comes,
at times rejecting those i couldnt manage alone.
got to unclutter my life soon. like how i unclutter my room and wardrobe on my off days.
reason cause i am neglecting some parts of the essentials.
my health - fitness and nutrition.
not that my system is down, it's more of maintainence and improving.
my 'train' will be starting to run next month,
one station after another, starting before the sun wakes up, ending after the sun sets.
before any screw or wheel comes loose, adequate preparation has to be done.
________________________________________
it's not how others are too unrealistic,
perhaps i am too realistic.
________________________________________
heart rate stable.
_________________
song playing: aesthetic
yun jiayou!
ding jia you too!
dug, stacked, categorised, rearranged, kept, cleaned my barang barangs.
unwanted, redundant, unnecessary went down the bin.
early spring cleaning my dad said.
mood spring cleaning i call it.
a mood led me to start sorting.
and in turn brought up memorises.
i thought of you,
you, you and you.
preparation, i am preparing for what's coming ahead after VEconcert 2009.
my forth choir concert in VE.
singing and VE, a part of me for 4 years.
now it has to come to an end after this event.
a need to leave, but not a want.
LOVE!
jia you everyone!
full of misses.
FIGHT is the word.
loud and clear
i started a self exercise in my organiser yesterday.
it's to record the number of happy and sad and tired and lovely faces that describe myself for the day.
and it started with a sad one for today.
the rest of the circles await to be filled with smiles.
which is more important?
you've tried your best OR you did the best.
it's whatever you define it as.
my tear threshold couldnt hold it any longer.
they are all flowing freely.
the angel in my mind lost control of the situation.
devil won.
yes i cant apply my theory in my practice. but i am trying very hard.
if TRYING cant be helped, then be it.
yes i cant beFRIEND most of the people whom i call collegues.
i cant continue to smile to those who didnt give me a pleasant getaway.
i cant BE like others who still have the ability to joke around with people who didnt give them a good time.
yes i try to say thank you to those who corrected me, now i could even take it harsh.
am i better?
but at times, i still cant hide whatever i feel.
yes i tried to cheer myself up. repeatedly telling myself, at least a bad experience makes me learn and be aware of something.
and i agree that plays a part to bring you far out in the outside world.
to change to adapt makes me fake.
i am seeing myself as a liar cause high prob people perceived me as.
a lack of naturality.
yes 6 months, it's the numbers of days that really count.
did i improve? i want the truth cause i really mind that.
yes i am one, that's me.
the no confidence, low self esteem, drawn back, hideous one. a verbal weako.
and i am utterly disappointed with that.
whatever you say, i will just say yes.
i am so crushed.
i am crying non stop.
i am so affected.
cause being unable to apply learning into practice is sth i mind so much.
and i just cant act.
it's nagging in my mind for so long.
- Mood: crushed
3 MRT trips,
5 bus trips.
6 people,
paul the planner,
nic ding pauline me and my mum.
5 places,
tiong bahru the meeting place,
henderson wave,
leading to alexandra arch and hort park.
to kent ridge park.
last ecp.
another day of eat drink play talk.
with fun, without hunger.
looking at the expected busy-ness each of us will have,
more gatherings will still come,
aint it?
play hard work hard.
GO GO GO alum9!
- Mood: content
being people orientated was initially the challenge i planned to face in nursing.
however, the cruel society is forcing everyone to a corner, limited time.
it's providing too much of redundant 'challenges'.
i need to be equiped with a pair of high tolerance ears,
a dictionary of words to console others
an encyclopedia of knowledge.
jia you.
true enough being a small thing.
it's still my negligence.
i am utterly disappointed with that.
where have all the effort been.
today marks the day.
yun take care of yourself, i always say.
- Mood: disappointed
is it attitude or not? you say it, i take it.
filter filter filter....
filter the unnecessary and take the needed.
needs for learning.
out of breathe to tell anyone about how i feel and what happened,
cause there's two ways of thinking.
1. it happened, so what's the point of telling.
2. ok, it's your wrong, am i supposed to do anything for you?
whatever.
thanks for telling me.
i appreciate that.
thanks.
keep that in mind yun.
that's how you should respond.
f
- Mood:
cranky
a sorry will not help if something precious is put at risk.
so what's the most precious thing right here on the earth you are having?
live.
- Mood: crushed
looking forward to oct, my upcoming bkk trip.
at the same time, worried about what will happen after oct at work.
some words from loves:
dont take others' comment to heart.
ignore if it's not important to even reflect through.
prove it instead.
we have all grown. VE alum9.
- Mood: worried
what's worst than without a family..
we met him along the road side at 2330H. 2 SNs.
no family.
renting a room as a roof.
an unstable job of dish collecting.
70 plus years old.
full of chronic illnesses.
toothless.
despite adequate and suggestions given to him,
he didnt want to be hospitalised.
we could see how he was considering in his head,
at the same time weighing what he needs to 'pay' in return.
his absence at job, his finance and all.
he was more concerned with these than his probing chest pain radiating to back and arm.
even more important than his spinning head.
he showed us tablets wrapped in papers.
he owns a bulky and heavy black bag.
refused to allow us to send me further than that spot.
pointing at his watch, rushing us home, saying its late.
we did what we could,
and left as told.
didnt feel good.
what's worst than being alone, and no family?
take care uncle.
I believe every single note and word in each song The Singers sang, led us to something close in our heart.
our childhood, toys and fun.
The concert commenced with a warm and cosy statement the MC said.
what i can briefly remember...the key words.
When young, love used to be simple.
a red fire engine,
a ba zhang.
true. i listened on.
i agree. on the other hand, love seems to have lost its simplicity as we grow up,
and its meaning turns vague.
some says love cant be defined, others say it has no boundery.
i need to see it. the meaning of love.
to share a phrase from the programme booklet,
Even a adults, we need and enjoy the playfulness, the nonsensical,
the make-believe, and most importantly, the wholeheartedness a child approaches the concept of love.
- Wilson Goh
thanks The Singers.
- Mood: thankful
i tried my best.
to do or not to do, i have weighed the importance.
i understand the whole condition of patient and their finance.
daughters protective of him. cant bear to let him know how tough they are going through.
having imposed the role of a "loanshark" from a money minded dept,
for the patient's good, this is STILL my aim.
a nurse, patient's educator.
tried to answer all doubts no matter how many time explanation is needed.
it's for your own good, patient.
but i got shooed off.
"I dont want to see you ever!" that's what he said harshly.
that's what i have get from him.
it hit me hard.
he has got my full name clearly. but he linked it with something negative.
something i didnt mean it. out of his perception.
the first sight i saw and talked to him,
he wasnt willing to talk at all.
i realised this man needs lots of support.
but uncle has to accept the GIVING we are providing.
i am helping him, with him knowing,
and helping him in silence, in cooperation with his love ones.
sensitive yun cried. due to the dilemma i was facing.
i need to say,
he's a noble dad.
from how his children love him.
hope uncle goes home tomorrow with a better condition.
at least i did my best, i did what i can.
console self.
yun, thank you.
thank you.
- Mood: disappointed
